When the waiting becomes......

HARD.....OVERWHELMING.....SAD

Waiting is not easy. I know as I write this there are many who will read it that understand how hard waiting can be. Can I get real honest in this blog? I am going to either way;)! Waiting just flat out stinks! My arms long to hold our baby, my heart longs to love him/her more, my eyes are waiting to see in the physical what we have been praying and believing for in the spiritual, and we cannot wait to celebrate the little life God has promised us. This promise should make waiting easier, it does not though. When so many around you are celebrating life, taking beautiful family pictures, and making family memories, my desire just becomes that much stronger and harder to wait for! Please do not get me wrong, I celebrate with them, I rejoice over their sweet miracles, and I aw and ew over their beautiful pictures. I am human though, and often slip in my doubt forgetting for a brief moment that God is a miracle worker, He is not a liar, and He loves to give us our desires when we remain faithful to Him. 

I adore the relationships He has brought our way with people who understand! I am also so thankful for the encouragement He sends our way through beautiful people! I know when the waiting gets hard I am to just be still and know my God who loves me more then I could ever imagine this side of Heaven has already gone before us! I know He is in every detail and I am then reminded it is all going to be worth the wait! 

Many have asked where we are in the process, this is where! We are just waiting for that amazing phone call and beautiful match! Please continue to pray with us, for the Birth Mom, and the little life she carries. Right now, our baby could be born, conceived, or even just waiting to breathe outside the womb, either way, God knows and He is in charge! 

I walk by our Nursery often and while its hard, I stop in, may say a prayer, and just look around and think about all the many sweet moments that will happen in this room. There will be nights of rocking in the glider, the noise of a sweet mobile, the dim light from a cute lamp, and the coos, crys, and laughs from a miracle that only God could create and be a part of! These things bring me hope and cause me to smile, and I may even tear up a little;)!  One other thing about our Nursery that I love is the theme the Spirit laid on my spirit! We (Al and I) together picked a color scheme, we know the Spirit gave us the Owls though. You see our little one was prophesied to us and God told us he/she would come. After putting the Nursery together I found out the spiritual meaning for Owls is: Prophecy, Wisdom, Life, Transition, and Protection! I know God works in this way and its amazing! 

I hold onto these signs and promises from God and try my best to just "Be Still and Know He is God!"

Thanks for walking with us through this and for your prayers! Never doubt that in all things God is working it for our good! 

So....we still wait, no matter how hard! 

Love, 

Us

And we wait.......

Two weeks ago we had the opportunity to take our kiddos here to one of the best Amusement parks! They were so excited, even if waiting 2 hours in the cold, misty weather,,meant they got to ride a 1 minute coaster:). I remember back when I was young, waiting in those lines never bothered me (neither did the rides), they do now! After the ride was over the laughter and smiles made those waiting times worth it. 

Last week, "Mr. Disney", did it again! He is our Anonymous donor who sends all of us here at PHC to Disney! It was hot, crowded, and you guessed it, we were left waiting again in 2 plus hour lines. We had to fight rain again, BUT the memories, the laughter, the stories, and the fun once again made it worth it! Even our pure exhaustion and lack of sleep was worth the time we spent waiting!

If you are like me, during the waiting time it is hard, it is challenging, and quite honestly, frustrating at times. These last 2 weeks we found ouselves waiting a lot and I look on our life right now and see us still waiting! 10 years and counting to be exact, BUT once we get through this line, this time, the bumps, and frustrations it will be worth it. I have to remind myself of this so much, and if you are reading this you've probably reminded me as well a time or two. So today, I am reminded yet again, to just "Be Still" in this moment and KNOW my God is God, is Good, and He is in control! 

Speaking of waiting, I've kept you all waiting a long time for more updates! I never have time to sit at a computer, right now while our children rest I am typing from my phone. I apologize and decided since many have asked, I would update! We've been approached a few times about babies who need a home, none of those situations were our miracle, they are part of our story though. We knew with this, disappointments would come, and also in those we know we have the power to still choose joy, choose peace, and hold onto hope! Hope came when we received a letter from Show Hope, which is Steven Curtis Chapman's organization. They help families adopt by giving out grants! We knew this was a very hard grant to receive and honestly my doubting Thomas came out a time or two! We applied for this grant in February and received our letter in June. I opened it up so slowly! It reminded me of those letters you get when applying to colleges, you are either excepted or not! Well, my eyes went straight to a $ sign, I screamed, cried, and just could not believe they chose us to be a part of their Show Hope family! I was a bit embarrassed as I opened that letter in the office here, yet it was nice for those around me to witness God's hand!!! Which, it has been apparent He has been a part of all this! At that moment the waiting seemed worth it and He made it much easier for us to in fact wait and meet our placement goal! When our Home Study was approved back in February, I went straight to work filling out every grant we could, we are still waiting to hear from those, we appreciate your continued prayers! Thank you for your prayers during all this and those who have financially helped, thank you as well! 

So where are we at in all this.....I am sure you can guess, waiting, waiting for our match and our phone call. While that is hard and tiring, I do not want to jump ship and miss out or cut in line and rob someone else of their joy, their time. So we will wait because when we get off this ride the shear joy and excitement will be so worth it when we hold our little one, the little one God has promised us, given us a name for, and trusted us to already love!

Anyone in any similiar situation, hold onto hope! My prayer is that through this process for us you will see a mighty, loving God!!

"So I wait, for you, so I wait, for you! I'm falling on my knees, offering all of me!"

"Be still and know that I am God!" Psalm 46:10

Love,

Us:)