When the waiting becomes......

HARD.....OVERWHELMING.....SAD

Waiting is not easy. I know as I write this there are many who will read it that understand how hard waiting can be. Can I get real honest in this blog? I am going to either way;)! Waiting just flat out stinks! My arms long to hold our baby, my heart longs to love him/her more, my eyes are waiting to see in the physical what we have been praying and believing for in the spiritual, and we cannot wait to celebrate the little life God has promised us. This promise should make waiting easier, it does not though. When so many around you are celebrating life, taking beautiful family pictures, and making family memories, my desire just becomes that much stronger and harder to wait for! Please do not get me wrong, I celebrate with them, I rejoice over their sweet miracles, and I aw and ew over their beautiful pictures. I am human though, and often slip in my doubt forgetting for a brief moment that God is a miracle worker, He is not a liar, and He loves to give us our desires when we remain faithful to Him. 

I adore the relationships He has brought our way with people who understand! I am also so thankful for the encouragement He sends our way through beautiful people! I know when the waiting gets hard I am to just be still and know my God who loves me more then I could ever imagine this side of Heaven has already gone before us! I know He is in every detail and I am then reminded it is all going to be worth the wait! 

Many have asked where we are in the process, this is where! We are just waiting for that amazing phone call and beautiful match! Please continue to pray with us, for the Birth Mom, and the little life she carries. Right now, our baby could be born, conceived, or even just waiting to breathe outside the womb, either way, God knows and He is in charge! 

I walk by our Nursery often and while its hard, I stop in, may say a prayer, and just look around and think about all the many sweet moments that will happen in this room. There will be nights of rocking in the glider, the noise of a sweet mobile, the dim light from a cute lamp, and the coos, crys, and laughs from a miracle that only God could create and be a part of! These things bring me hope and cause me to smile, and I may even tear up a little;)!  One other thing about our Nursery that I love is the theme the Spirit laid on my spirit! We (Al and I) together picked a color scheme, we know the Spirit gave us the Owls though. You see our little one was prophesied to us and God told us he/she would come. After putting the Nursery together I found out the spiritual meaning for Owls is: Prophecy, Wisdom, Life, Transition, and Protection! I know God works in this way and its amazing! 

I hold onto these signs and promises from God and try my best to just "Be Still and Know He is God!"

Thanks for walking with us through this and for your prayers! Never doubt that in all things God is working it for our good! 

So....we still wait, no matter how hard! 

Love, 

Us

And we wait.......

Two weeks ago we had the opportunity to take our kiddos here to one of the best Amusement parks! They were so excited, even if waiting 2 hours in the cold, misty weather,,meant they got to ride a 1 minute coaster:). I remember back when I was young, waiting in those lines never bothered me (neither did the rides), they do now! After the ride was over the laughter and smiles made those waiting times worth it. 

Last week, "Mr. Disney", did it again! He is our Anonymous donor who sends all of us here at PHC to Disney! It was hot, crowded, and you guessed it, we were left waiting again in 2 plus hour lines. We had to fight rain again, BUT the memories, the laughter, the stories, and the fun once again made it worth it! Even our pure exhaustion and lack of sleep was worth the time we spent waiting!

If you are like me, during the waiting time it is hard, it is challenging, and quite honestly, frustrating at times. These last 2 weeks we found ouselves waiting a lot and I look on our life right now and see us still waiting! 10 years and counting to be exact, BUT once we get through this line, this time, the bumps, and frustrations it will be worth it. I have to remind myself of this so much, and if you are reading this you've probably reminded me as well a time or two. So today, I am reminded yet again, to just "Be Still" in this moment and KNOW my God is God, is Good, and He is in control! 

Speaking of waiting, I've kept you all waiting a long time for more updates! I never have time to sit at a computer, right now while our children rest I am typing from my phone. I apologize and decided since many have asked, I would update! We've been approached a few times about babies who need a home, none of those situations were our miracle, they are part of our story though. We knew with this, disappointments would come, and also in those we know we have the power to still choose joy, choose peace, and hold onto hope! Hope came when we received a letter from Show Hope, which is Steven Curtis Chapman's organization. They help families adopt by giving out grants! We knew this was a very hard grant to receive and honestly my doubting Thomas came out a time or two! We applied for this grant in February and received our letter in June. I opened it up so slowly! It reminded me of those letters you get when applying to colleges, you are either excepted or not! Well, my eyes went straight to a $ sign, I screamed, cried, and just could not believe they chose us to be a part of their Show Hope family! I was a bit embarrassed as I opened that letter in the office here, yet it was nice for those around me to witness God's hand!!! Which, it has been apparent He has been a part of all this! At that moment the waiting seemed worth it and He made it much easier for us to in fact wait and meet our placement goal! When our Home Study was approved back in February, I went straight to work filling out every grant we could, we are still waiting to hear from those, we appreciate your continued prayers! Thank you for your prayers during all this and those who have financially helped, thank you as well! 

So where are we at in all this.....I am sure you can guess, waiting, waiting for our match and our phone call. While that is hard and tiring, I do not want to jump ship and miss out or cut in line and rob someone else of their joy, their time. So we will wait because when we get off this ride the shear joy and excitement will be so worth it when we hold our little one, the little one God has promised us, given us a name for, and trusted us to already love!

Anyone in any similiar situation, hold onto hope! My prayer is that through this process for us you will see a mighty, loving God!!

"So I wait, for you, so I wait, for you! I'm falling on my knees, offering all of me!"

"Be still and know that I am God!" Psalm 46:10

Love,

Us:)

Better Late then Never......

I suppose, huh:)! It has been a busy time from Open House, Adoption meetings, children events/activities, Palmer events, visiting family in Ohio(which was great), to Christmas Shopping, wrapping, and celebrating. So again, better late then never.....

There is a lot of catching y'all up. This could really turn into a very long blog so I will do my best to keep it short. First, MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all! I pray your time today has been spent well with family and reflecting on the true meaning, which is Jesus! I am so thankful for him! While it has been said this is not truly His Birthday, I still love this time where He is the focus by so many. I wish it was a year long thing for everyone. He is so amazing! 

Second, we made our first Puzzle goal! THANK YOU so much to everyone for being a part of this goal! God showed up in some AMAZING ways during this time. It literally only took 18 days to meet this goal. We have an ON TIME God, maybe not always on our time, but ALWAYS on time.

 

This puzzle is going to look so cute hanging above our little ones bed. I cannot wait to explain all the names on the back of each puzzle piece to our little one when he/she is old enough to understand. There are still a few pieces left for those who are still wanting to buy a piece to bringing home our baby. We have a fundraising site at youcaring.com, we found out this site does not charge any fee's, thanks to some friends of ours who are also adopting. Please be praying for them as well during this process. It is not any easy one to travel.

Third, WE HAVE A HOME STUDY DATE!!! I will say it again, because everytime I do, I get so excited, WE HAVE A HOME STUDY DATE!!! Our last meeting on December 4th, with our awesome Social Worker was so hard. It was a very emotional time. Both Al and I had to go way back talking about life, family, and choices made. Many of you know our tesitmonies so you know it was not really a life to be proud of, however, while talking to her she said, "I would have never thought this about you!" What an amazing compliment to God's grace and healing! After about 2 hours of tears, laughter, and even healing we heard the news, "Let's set a date for your Home Study!" This date is a sweet date too, it will be on Al's Birthday which is January 9th at 4:30pm. Please be praying as we get everything ready and that she will feel a sweet presence in our home. I need to add just how good God is. This passed January 9th, we had two precious children leave our care. It hit really hard on all of us and Al said he would not enjoy his Birthday again. I love that God has given him a sweet gift so he can enjoy his day. 

Many have asked what this Home Study all means, let me explain. When Adoption is something your called to do or want to do you must legally have a Home Study. Your Social Worker will visit your home to make sure it is safe for Children, meaning Chemicals, Cleaning Supplies, Medicines or anything else harmful should be locked up or put up high. You must have a Fire Extinguisher and have all outlets covered. It is basic things like this. It will take about a month for our Home Study to be finalized. Once it is finalized we can begin our grant application process and then "patiently" wait for a match. That last part is so hard. 

Lastly, we will have more opportunities for you all to give as you feel led. We are still praying about more fundraisers. We trust God through this whole Adoption. We know He already has our little one hand picked, chosen for us. We know that every cent He will provide, for He already has up to this point. We also know how much we need Him and how much we need your prayers. You are all so wonderful and are a part of something greater. You are sowing eternal seeds. You are loved tremendously! 

We get so excited when people talk to us about our adoption and ask questions, so please do so. We love hearing the kids in our care talk about our baby and how they cannot wait to be a big brother or big sister. I love hearing friends congratulate us and I love when our families buy things for the baby or when we just sit around and think about that day we will meet him/her. This week we were able to make a quick trip to spend a few days with family for Christmas. Here is a picture that got me excited:

I cannot wait for cute little baby feet to fill these booties! We were also able to take some family pictures that my younger sister has been wanting to take for a while. Here are a few of my favorites:

It was good time! My Dad was missed, I have to say though it was so nice to have some happiness and laughter back in our family Christmas's! God is Good people.....HE REALLY IS!!!

Finally I cannot end without sharing our Christmas Tradition we do with our kids. It is so much fun to go shopping for these and wear them to our campus tradition events:

Merry Christmas! Thank you for loving us, praying for us, and supporting us! 

Until the next year;).....

Love,

Us:)

P.S. Here is our youcaring site:

http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/bring-home-baby-fishburn/274448

we also have a paypal account at brittfishburn@gmail.com

A week of confirmed promises

How many of you have ever made a promise that you did not keep? ✋ My hand goes up and fast too. Either we get too busy, forget, or make ones we just cannot keep and unfortunately someone is left hurt. I don't know about you, but I for one always feel bad if I break a promise, so I try hard now only to make the ones I know I can keep. Promise is a big word and well, I, in my humaness, am not that big. I know someone who is though and He never goes back on His word!

This week has been a week of confirmed promises for Al and me, in many areas of our life. I would like to take just a moment of your time and brag on His promises, not because of anything we have done or because we even deserve them, only because He is a great BIG God with a whole lot of love to pour out on two ordinary people, yet children of Him(wow that is a long sentence). Al and I are in the home stretch leading towards our Home Study. This is the one step that opens our home up to Baby F and opens the door to applying for grants. Pretty much it shows our Social Worker we are truly ready to bring home our baby. This part is expensive also. Al and I are pretty private about this part of the Adoption and have only shared with our closest family and friends all the details. We have been encouraged to share this detail with you though. In order to complete our Home Study we must have $4000.00 paid and this is why we have been fundrausing. There is no price you can put on our baby or any baby at all, it is reality though. We've trusted God all along though because we know this is His will for our lives. 

Ok, by now you're probably ready to hear how He has shown up so here goes. Sunday we were approached by a wonderful man of Christ,( he has the same heart as my Dad did) in his hand a $400.00 check that said, "God loves you!" We were instantly moved to tears, overwhelmed with love from our Father! A few days later we were approached by a couple, who with the same attitude told us a large amount they were wanting to give, and just yesterday another couple told us they were donating $100.00. There have been no words to express our appreciation and thanks. We've had a hard time with this part of the story because who are we in comparison to others. We are eternally grateful and pray many blessings on those who are sowing seeds into our babies life. 

Is this it, no actually. To top it all off we have received this week our next fundraising opportunity. A sweet Spirit filled Lady from our church donated her talent, time, and supplies to paint a puzzle for our nursery and of course this week she completed it. 

God laid the words on our heart and gave her a vision. We think it is adorable as this represents Dad, Baby, and Mom. Thank you Toni for sharing your heart with us! Thank you to those God has used this week to confirm His promise! We love you all! 

So finally here it is the next fundraiser and the one I am most excited for. Why?! You see this puzzle tells a story, one we will be able to share when Baby F grows up, and one you all can be a part. This is how the puzzle came to us:

 

and was it a pain to put together, but we did😄! Now its complete and ready for your names. You all can buy a piece of the puzzle for $30.00 and have your name signed to the back. You will then receive a picture postcard of the puzzle to put on your refrigerator, desk at work, in your car, or where ever as a reminder that you walked this faith walk with us, became a part of our family, helped complete the puzzle, and prayed for all of us along the way. My sisters have set up a Go Fund Me to help make it easy for you all. You will find it listed at the end of this blog. As always, all donations go to bringing home Baby F!

Again, thank you! I know I say it often, but we truly cannot wait to hold our baby. We cannot wait to meet him/her and to love on our little one. 

As you can see its been one of those weeks. Please know though, no matter what kind of week it is, God is always good and will never hold back on His promises. Its been a long journey, with tears shed, but still God! Psalm 119:50 says, "My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life" and He has preseved us, so we hold onto His peomises! Please remember, He cares for YOU!! 

I have one last thing to say about God's promises! He promised to Chasity that she was going to be a nurse and this girl passed her State Board! We literally found out the news Sunday right after our first blessing of the week! We are so very proud of her. The best part, through adversity she kept her hope in God! 

Until next time.....

Love,

Us

PS: My Mom has so willingly excepted my request to take over our Adoption Auction! Thank you Mom!!

Here is the link:

http://gofundme.com/babyfishburn

Movin on up....

We are coming off a pretty busy week! My sister moved on up from singlehood to marriage! It was a beautiful wedding and the presence of the Lord was there! Nick is going to make a fine addition to the family and a wonderful brother. He brings a sense of joy and humor our family has needed! My sister looked radiant. She was a glowing Bride and Nick, a sobbing Groom! We were honored to be a part. Here is one of my favorite pictures from that day of all the girls:

And then another favorite of the Bride and Groom:

We are movin on up too....

Al and I have our official intake meeting next Wednesday at 10am. The good Lord continues to bless us. I am not sure what we've done to deserve such goodness and favor from the Lord. He moves me everytime. We are overwhelmed by all He does. His favor is moving us up in this process and we are one step closer to bringing our baby home. I say this often because I mean it, my arms long to hold our little one. I long for sleepless nights, dirty diapers, and days of vomit because that means we will have endless times of laughter, playing, and cuddling as well. 

Our first fundraiser has been a blessing. It has far outweighed my expectations. Thank you to all who have donated, to my mom and in laws for your contribution, and also to those who have purchased items, you are now officially a part of this journey and our little one will know about you. We will be beginning our next fundraiser soon, once I finish putting it together. Do you all know how hard it is to put a solid white puzzle together? Try tying your shoes without laces....yes its just like that. I keep telling myself it will all be worth it. 

I have mentioned how emotional this journey has been, I want to express just how fun too. I love Al's and my discussions over baby names, which I believe we have narrowed down to two choices for a boy and a girl. We had no trouble picking a nursery color. Al was not too thrilled about the theme, but slowly he will come around😜. I was so excited to have these cute little owls donated and so "K" and I painted them and we will be using them in the nursery. Tell us what you think:

I will save the rest. Its cute isn't it?!

Thank you to everyone who has been praying with us and cheering us on. Several of you have been so encouraging. 

One last thing, we've had some ask how they can donate, here is one of two ways: 

Mail donations to

PO Box 929

Hernando, MS 38632

or

PayPal- brittfishburn@gmail.com

All donations will go straight into our Adoption fund.

Thank you again, you are part of our blessing!

Love,

Us:)

Vulnerability

Today has shown me just how hard it is to be vulnerable. The Lord has us on this amazing journey....and its tough. Those two really do not go together, amazing and tough, but it is the truth. I think ahead and see us bringing home our baby and then quickly put the brakes on when I am reminded all that is left to do. God then reminds me about all the amazing things on this journey that will be shown to us and I start to get ahead of myself again. Have any of you been on the Pirate Ship ride, you know that big boat that swings back and fourth? Well those don't settle well in my stomach. I honestly cannot handle rides like that. I always look forward to getting off and putting my feet back on the ground. Well, this is how I can explain the journey. You are in line waiting to get on, the antcipation is so exciting, then you get on and while it is fun (those rides), there are somethings that you realize you are weak at (like my stomach on these rides) and you just cannot wait for it to be over. Once you are off you realize it was worth the memories made and the laughter. We know after this it will be worth it, its just the steps going through that we have to fully rely on God to help us with. Its faith. That's what it is. Faith in God and we are so honored to be on it. 

Its been a week since we announced we were expecting, in the form of adoption. It is crazy how we can already love our little one and we have yet to know when we will meet. Al and I have prayed about this day for a long time. Parents, when you look at your child can you imagine not having them? Can you imagine birthing them and then lovingly giving them away? It is a hard question. Al and I cannot imagine not having them, its a deep desire for us. We are aware of the challenges and heartache that take place, BUT EVEN still that is worth it. We long to be parents together, to walk through life hand in hand, going through every bump and hurdle, and listening to every laugh and giggle. We long to make memories and to teach our little one the love of God. We long for His will more importantly. This is our story and while it has been painful at times, we are richly blessed, for eternity. 

I mentioned it is hard for me to vulnerable. Adoption is a stretch in many ways, finances are one of those. God has already come through in big ways and we know He will continue. We are asking if you all will prayerfully considering being a part of our family by sowing seeds into our babies life? We have already started our first fundraiser. We opened an online auction through Facebook. This will be an on going fundraiser and new items will be posted daily and weekly. We are praying for a certain amount of money to be raised so we can complete our home study. After all the paperwork, this is one of the most important steps. Once our home study is done our baby can become our family, whenever that may be. It could take 3 months or 1 year, maybe longer. We know we will meet him/her one day though. In a week or two we will be starting another fundraiser. I am the most excited about this one, more details to come on this so please stay with us. 

If you are not interested on bidding online or being part of a fundraiser, but would still like to sow into the life of our baby, please email us at fishburn@palmerhome.org and we will give you the proper steps in doing so. You will be planting an eternal seed. You are also opening your life up and becoming apart of our family. All funds received will be placed in a bank fund strictly for baby Fishburn.

Our arms long to hold our little one. Thank you for joining us on this journey! We love you all!

Love,

Us:)

Oh, what a ride

First, I just need to say, what a ride already! I am sure I am more emotional then what I thought because my Dad is not here and also because I carry a sad heart for my sister. She walks down the ailse in exactly 10 days! It's just a bittersweet time in our family. Thanks to everyone who is baring with me!

With that said, I already know it is going to just be a time of tears anyways. A friend of mine who has traveled this journey already with her spouse said the tears will not end. Looks like I will be stocking up on boxes of tissue. If you see me in passing and my nose is red and raw you will know why;)! Actually this is all going to be worth it. She told me this as well, my friend. She said when we pull up to our house with our baby that no one can take away, it will all be worth it! We know it will be, so little one wether boy or girl, we cried for you for so long, I cannot wait to hold you and cry! What a blessing you already are!

Now for some news! I opened our email today and we have been moved onto the next phase! This is the Formal Application process! We are thrilled and while there is so much more to do, we are blessed that it is still moving on. With that said, there is another fee with this step.....God already delivered it though! We left our meeting last night, which was awesomely overwhelming:) thinking, "Wow"! I was like there is so much to still do, paperwork, nursery, and Al was thinking finances:)! Seriously right after we talked about all that we received a $1000.00 grant and was moved to tears! I love the thought of anonymous givers so if the amazing woman in my life wants to share she can! I want her to know that with or without this grant how much I love her!!! She is forever a part of this journey and we will get to share with our little one what she did to help bring him/her home! Gods got this!!!

Speaking of being a part, you all will have a chance to be a part of this puzzle! We will be starting some fundraisers soon! We understand the struggles in life, trust us we've had our fair share. God has been so great through it all though. How many would love or consider being a part of the journey? A part of the "puzzle"? One of our first fundraiser when it's time will be just that, a puzzle piece. You all will get to buy a piece of a puzzle that we will put together to form a picture, sign it, and then receive a magnet that will have the picture of your puzzle piece so you can pray for our little one. This is all in the works! We have a number we are praying for. Imagine, having this puzzle picture hanging above little ones bed and when he or she is older us explaining how you all had a part of bringing home baby! Al and I are writing a little poem for our baby to paint on this puzzle picture. Please prayerfully consider.

If you are not feeling led, we ask that you partner or continue to partner with us in prayer! Pray for the birth mom, the baby, and Al and I! We love having you all part of this journey! We are getting a glance at the amazing love of our God who choose us and is now choosing for us a little one to love! Words cannot express this journey, I am doing my very best though. It's been almost 10 years since Al and I began the journey of wanting to extend our family. We look back and see why His timing is so perfect, and yet still struggle with waiting. We so painfully want to have our own, to teach about Christ, and to love on. God reminded me yesterday that He has this and to just take it one step at a time.

"Be still and know that I am God....." and He will be exalted through it all!

You all are wonderful! Until next time....enjoy the ride!

Love,

Us:)